What are the Sexiest Cocktails?
Couple getting cozy with cocktails
Provocatively named cocktails such as the Blow Job shot, the Porn Star Martini, and Sex On The Beach were products of the 1980s, as ostentatious as the big hair and neon that helped define the era. Today, those eyebrow-raising libations are generally perceived more as fun and irreverent than truly sexy. In an informal social media poll of disproportionately industry and former industry people, only 2% of respondents indicated that “cocktail name” was an important factor in what makes a cocktail sexy. (Aesthetics was the number one indicator, followed by “the person drinking it.”)
As for aesthetics, glassware, color, texture, and “suggestive garnish games” all have a part to play in a cocktail’s sexiness: a whiff of smoke, citrus oil that seeps from a twist, a ribbon of cucumber, an artfully draped flower, even maraschino cherries can be sexy — who among us has not tried to impress someone by tying the stem in a knot without the use of our hands…
Arguably, any cocktail can be sexy in the hand of someone with self-confidence and style, but certain sexy cocktails can help project those characteristics, at least in the eyes of the beholder. In cocktails, as with people, the sexiest cocktails are grown-up drinks that aren’t trying too hard. Like a perfect little black dress, the cocktails that most people nominated as sexy are classics that have stood the test of time, and one that’s just an unapologetic bombshell. Here are six of the sexiest cocktails for your next cocktail outside (or inside) the house.
Martini
Tanqueray Dirty martini
Regardless of whether you agree with his martini order, James Bond forever enshrined the classic cocktail as the sexiest with the velvet utterance of “shaken, not stirred,” which to this day continues to have the effect of making us feel, in fact, both shaken and stirred. The aforementioned social media poll of those who both make and consume drinks — which is to say, a lot of people — nearly unanimously nominated the martini as the sexiest cocktail. Calling for a “dirty” martini feels suggestive without demeaning oneself, and sliding olives off of a toothpick…well, that’s the grown up version of tying the cherry stem in a knot. Its piercing, crystalline liquid, its stilettoed glassware, and the deft hand required to keep it from sloshing out of the glass, there’s just little else in its category where cocktail sexiness is concerned.
Tanqueray Dirty Martini
.75 oz olive brine
.25 oz extra dry vermouth
3 olives
Procedure: Add 2 oz Tanqueray London Dry Gin, .75 oz Olive Brine, and .25 oz Extra Dry Vermouth to cocktail tin. Shake (or stir over ice) and fine strain into chilled martini glass. Garnish with skewered olives.
Old Fashioned
Old Fashioned
From James Bond to Don Draper, the Old Fashioned is another cocktail that became sexy by association: silent, smoldering, serious. The name Old Fashioned, even if less important by cocktail sexiness standards, evokes manners and poise, sexy attributes that stand the test of time, and looks good on absolutely everyone. Best when served over a big rock (ahem) the Old Fashioned’s simple formula and presentation proves that less is more when it comes to being sexy.
Four Roses Classic Old Fashioned
2 oz Four Roses Small Batch Bourbon
¼ oz simple syrup
3 dashes Angostura bitters
2 dashes orange bitters
Lemon peel and orange peel for garnish
Procedure: Combine all ingredients into a mixing glass. Add ice and stir for thirty seconds, or until the cocktail is well chilled. Strain over large ice cube into the glass. Express peels. Garnish.
Sazerac
Sazerac
The inherent allure of the deceptively unassuming Sazerac is several-fold. The rinse or spritz of absinthe — best when it comes from an atomizer — gives a whiff of something forbidden. There’s also something undeniably sultry about its velvety texture, and the fact that it doesn’t need assertive glassware or volume to make a bold statement. It’s about as much liquid as comes in a shot, but you’re going to drink it nice…and…slow. It can appear similar to a neat pour, but you know its rich texture is going to spend a little extra time on the tongue. With an anise-forward flavor, and with its original Cognac base, it’s a drink only for grown ups.
Rémy Martin Sazerac
1¾ oz Rémy Martin 1738 Accord Royal
Peychaud’s Bitters
Simple syrup
Angostura bitters
Absinthe
Procedure: Muddle a sugar cube with 3 dashes of Peychaud’s and an equal measure of Angostura bitters. Add a few ice cubes and stir in 1¾ oz of Rémy Martin 1738 Accord Royal. Add 1 bar spoon of sugar syrup before straining into a chilled, absinthe-rinsed glass.
French 75
French 75
There’s something kind of demure about a French 75, with its pale color, bubbly personality, and elegant stemware, until you realize it’s named after literal artillery: a World War I field gun. (A certain popular adage comes to mind comparing one’s behavior in the streets versus sheets.) It’s a classy choice for when you’re in the mood, but not sure what mood, flirting between Champagne and cocktails. A spicy and tart gin and citrus base topped with potent effervescence, like its namesake, the French 75 goes off with a bang.
Hendricks French 75
30 ml Hendrick’s Original Gin
10 ml simple syrup
10 ml lemon juice
Champagne
Procedure: Add gin, sugar and lemon to a cocktail shaker. Add ice, shake well and fine strain into a flute. Top with champagne and garnish with a slice of cucumber or lemon twist.
Pornstar Martini
Chinola Porn Star Martini photo credit Lillistar
On the flip side, there’s absolutely nothing demure about a cocktail called a Pornstar, which sports a suggestive, exotic fruit as garnish, and comes with a sidecar of sparkling wine, because that’s hedonism for you. The Pornstar Martini doesn’t inspire giggles quite like the sexy-named cocktails of the 1980s. It demands a little more respect than that, or at least awe, or maybe even fear. It’s long been England’s favorite cocktail but is starting to gain traction stateside; a hedonistic concoction of vanilla vodka, lime juice, and passion fruit liqueur, where your drink also comes with its own drink.
Chinola Pornstar Martini
1 oz Chinola Passion Fruit Liqueur
1.5 oz vanilla vodka
.75 oz lime juice
.5 oz simple syrup
1.5 oz sparkling wine (sidecar)
Half of a passionfruit for garnish
Procedure: Shake all ingredients except sparkling wine with ice. Strain into a coupe. Garnish with half passion fruit or lime wheel. Serve with a sidecar of sparkling wine.
Mai Tai
Mai Tai
Tropical cocktails have a lot of sexiness potential across the board with their myriad glassware, mounds of pebbled ice, and unparalleled garnish. There’s something more understated, however, but equally sexy, when it comes to a particular ingredient in certain tropical drinks: orgeat, a velvetizing almond syrup that renders everything just a little bit silky. The Mai Tai — meaning “out of this world — is a tropical classic, a blend of rum with orange curaçao, lime juice, and orgeat, with just a touch here of ginger syrup for added spice; pretty much the goal of any sexy cocktail.
Kraken Sea Monster Mai Tai
2 parts Kraken Black Spiced Rum
1/2 parts orange curaçao
3/4 parts lime juice
1/4 parts orgeat
1/4 parts ginger syrup
Procedure: Combine all ingredients (except rum) in a shaker, add ice and shake. Dump into a large rocks glass, and top with crushed ice. Finish the drink by topping with rum. Garnish with mint sprigs and freshly grated nutmeg.