7 Drinks for Jurassic World Rebirth

Jurassic World Rebirth

Jurassic World Rebirth

You’re at home, enjoying a cocktail, when a subtle vibration causes minute waves to appear in the liquid; tsunamis in miniature, radiating outward in distinct rings from the epicenter. Impact tremors. In the Jurassic universe, this would indicate a very specific thing: Jurassic World Rebirth is approaching. That or a Tyrannosaurus Rex is on your heels. Must go faster. 

It is a safe assumption that the Jurassic period in history did not include cocktails. For one, distillation was still many millions of years away, and two, from what I can glean, few dinosaurs have the physiology required to sip liquid from a cocktail glass. Does this maybe explain T-Rex’s perpetually mad attitude? The Raptors would probably find a way, though. Life always does.

Fortunately, we live in an era where cocktails are abundant — and we have the limb coordination required to enjoy them. Thanks in part to the Jurassic Park franchise and its early experiments in CGI, we also have dinosaurs, kind of. Never one to pass up the opportunity to link drinks to elements of popular culture, and in honor of the release of Jurassic World: Rebirth, the (counts fingers) seventh film in the franchise, here are seven beverages to get you in a Jurassic mood.

 

Moët & Chandon Brut

Moët & Chandon Brut

Moët & Chandon Brut

Pop a cork! Your archeological dig has just been funded for the next three years by an eccentric, Scottish billionaire. The only catch is that you have to check out his new theme park, and give your scientific endorsement to appease his lawyers. We all know how that might work out, but in honor of a classic, branded beverage that actually appears in the original film, it’s a fitting opening gambit for a Jurassic-themed lineup. 

 

Mosquito: Mojito

Mosquito Mojito

Mosquito Mojito

A mosquito trapped in a bit of amber was the key to unlocking dinosaur DNA. Having recently sipped from a bit of T-Rex, or so it was supposed, and having avoided any fateful slaps that would have ended most of its mosquito brethren, the mosquito was key to the modern dinosaur kingdom, fallen or otherwise.

A number of cocktails appear in the beverage canon with the name Mosquito, notably an equal-parts concoction attributed to Attaboy which riffs on a Paper Plane cocktail with mezcal, lemon juice, Campari, and sweetened ginger juice. It may not draw blood, but it will definitely sting. As a simple, near homonym option, a Mojito also fits the bill. A bartender tip with Jurassic sensibilities: try not to muddle your mint so hard that it creates impact tremors in the liquids on your counter.

 

Amber: Old Fashioned

Amber Old Fashioned

Amber Old Fashioned

Speaking of amber, most barrel-aged spirits will appear as a lovely amber liquid in a glass. So if simplicity is your film-and-a-beverage vibe, grab a neat pour of whatever suits you when a viewing of Jurassic-whatever is in order, but maybe just double check your glassware for the presence of mosquitos first.

An Amber Old Fashioned has been named by numerous bars: some include aged rum in the bedrock, some invite amber beer to the proceedings. Experiment to your heart’s content, but unlike Jurassic Park’s Dr. Hammond, maybe consider the broader ramifications of your tinkering to humankind. 

 

Dr. Hammond: Godfather

Dr. Hammond & Godfather cocktail

Dr. Hammond & Godfather

In endeavoring to bring dinosaurs back from extinction, Dr. Hammond was clearly playing god. The amber mine, in fact, where his minions first harvested dinosaur DNA, was called Mano de Dios (“hand of god.”) He even demanded to be present for every new dinosaur hatching, so that the baby dinosaurs would imprint on him and develop trust. 

A Scottish eccentric with a god/father complex and a two-tone wardrobe? There’s definitely a cocktail for that: Godfather. Mix equal parts Scotch whisky and amaretto over ice, and think only about what you might accomplish, and not of the consequences of your potential accomplishment.

 

Velociraptor: Bird of Paradise

Velociraptor and Bird of Paradise cocktail

Velociraptor and Bird of Paradise cocktail

The scientists in the Jurassic franchise often assert that dinosaurs are closer to birds than lizards. Velociraptor, the real dino-star of the films (sorry, T-Rex) even loosely translates as “bird of prey.” (Technically it’s “swift plunderer,” but that lacks rhythm and gravitas.) Jurassic Park is located on a fictional island off the coast of Costa Rica, so how about a Bird of Paradise: a tropical cocktail with avian sensibilities. Clever girl. (If I do say so myself.)

It’s also got metaphorical talons in its recipe: in addition to Aperol and pineapple juice, its base spirit is overproof rum, which, if used inappropriately, also has the ability to spill your guts and eat you alive.

 

Chaos Theory: Long Island Iced Tea

Chaos Theory & Long Island Iced Tea

Chaos Theory & Long Island Iced Tea

While Chaos Theory is an excellent name for a cocktail, and has doubtlessly been employed across the cocktail bar landscape, here’s my vote for a classic cocktail that embodies the very spirit of “predictability in complex systems:” Long Island Iced Tea. (Also an island, for anyone keeping score.) Utilizing every clear spirit in the well: tequila, rum, vodka, gin, and triple sec, that’s about as complex a system as cocktails get. As for predictable behavior after downing more than one of these? 

Here’s a Jeff Goldblum as Dr. Ian Malcom quote for the occasion: “Now I’m sitting here by myself talking to myself. That’s chaos theory.”

 

Dinosaur: Disaronno Sour

Dinosaur and Disaronno Sour

Dinosaur and Disaronno Sour

Say it five times fast — or drink one five times fast — and basically you’ve got “Dinosaur.” What could be more on-theme Jurassic than that? Celebrating its 500th anniversary this year, Disaronno is also about as close as we can get to a brand that actually remembers the dinosaurs. Though it is arguably what one employs to create an amaretto sour, it’s not fully amaretto. There are almonds in the mix, but Disaronno takes its signature flavor from crushed apricot kernels.

The Disaronno sour also has historical significance, at least personally. It was the first cocktail that I actually liked. It was the mosquito in the amber, if you will, in my evolution as a beverage professional, bringing me to this exact, fateful moment of ascribing various beverages to the Jurassic Park universe.