Episode Recap: Bar Rescue Season 4, Ep 1
Welcome to Alcohol Professor’s weekly recap of Bar Rescue, Spike TV’s reality show that gives desperate liquor purveyors a chance to turn themselves into beyond visitable venues. Hosted by nightlife guru Jon Taffer, this week’s episode, set in good ol’ Long Island, featured flair bartender extraordinaire Phil Wils and hospitality whiz Jesse Barnes.
The Artful Dodger, a place with an incongruously literary name, is a limp nightclub with bugs in the tequila and lots of 18+ nights. Worm in the booze on purpose is one thing, fruit-flies setting up shop in my margarita, however, is my worst nightmare affirmed.
It's hard to take Jon Taffer's infamous scoldings seriously through the onslaught of neon green speckles, and it seems like he might feel that way too. Taffer stifles a giggle as he points out the obvious mistakes (mosquitos! teenagers!). After Wils shows the crew how to accomplish some basic multi-tasking, bartender Jen storms off in a huff, claiming she can't stir. Come on, Bar Rescue, give me some better drama!
Anyway, the menu does a turnover, but it's nothing fanatical. In fact, of the two new cocktails presented, both were pretty basic fruit-forward, fairly boozeless concoctions. I think I was expecting something more radical than fresh juice and egg, but I guess post-fly infestation they were looking to simplify things.
Taffer decides he wants to do... wait for it... a speakeasy theme. Gah. You know, there are good bars out there that aren't Prohibition themed. He makes a good point in stating that the good people of Huntington can afford it, but the whole thing felt too easy to me. The Artful Dodger is renamed the equally cumbersome P's and Q's Auto Body, complete with a hidden door that takes you from an old school auto-shop to a pretty cookie-cutter speakeasy lined with a bunch of awesome Chesterfields. I want one of those Chesterfields.
I would've loved to see them pull off a classy nightclub. Or keep a slice of Prohibition-themed décor, but retain that dance-floor, Miami vibe. Maybe call the place The Last Resort? I don't know, maybe I'm just being cynical. Or maybe all that revolving gave me nausea.
Visit P's and Q's Auto Body:
30 New St
Huntingon New York